On The Miracle Of Communication

Communication is a miraculous human achievement that’s far more difficult, challenging and error prone than is commonly appreciated.

I went to get my new license tag, partly as a way to take a break and free my mind from my focused work habits. I came to the Vehicle Registration office door and read a bold red and white sign shouting that my proof of insurance will be required. I looked at the form in my hand and for the first time started reading the fine print. Sure enough, it said I needed to bring my proof of insurance with me to get a new sticker.

Alright, I thought, lucky thing I decided to come down in person or I might have mailed in my payment without including proof of insurance and wasted a complete cycle of work only to have to it repeat again, this time with all the proper papers.

In the course of mailing, I may have read the form more carefully and noticed the additional requirement, yet maybe not. So much depends on attitude, state of mind, fatigue, the vagaries of mood and the urgency of seemingly random items “pre-occupying” our attention. At any rate, leaving my place in line which was dead last anyway, a quick dash to my car’s glove box and I have proof of insurance in hand.

At the counter again I ask if I can pay by credit card to which I receive a very cogent answer. “Yes, but we charge 3%.” I respond “what about a debit card?” to which she replies “That’s 75 cents.”

Okay, now if I’ve got this straight she’s saying that using a credit card will cost me 3% and using a debit card will cost me 75 cents. Alright, 3%, on what amount? What’s the fee for these tabs again? I think it’s about $75. Okay so, 3% of one dollar is 3 cents, then 3% of $75 is 3 times 75. Okay, wait a minute, before I actually do the math I’ve got an incoming message from my memory banks.

My memories inform me that that dozens of times, no, make that hundreds of times in the past, when I assumed I had understood an initial communication, assuming it was correctly structured and that my own assumptions were sound, I was wrong. Hold it... another incoming message on the heels of the first one saying the repercussions of acting on miscommunications can be severe, so be careful not to do this.

Alright, so the best thing for me to do now is to throw out another question to verify that I’ve understood what was said to me correctly and that it was stated accurately. So I ask, “so there’s a charge either way?” to which I receive a kindly-natured “what am I speaking a foreign language, I just said it’s 3% for a credit card and 75 cents for a debit card.” Aha! So I had it right the first time. Good.

Okay, now I have to come back with a line to continue a relatively graceful and effective conversation with the attractive woman behind the counter so I ask “what’s 3% of 75 dollars?” rather than multiplying it in my head. Why? Because it’s not so much that I need the answer as that I need to smooth communications and bring this transaction to a quick and successful conclusion, not to mention that my mental fatigue was the driving force getting me out of the house in the first place.

She says “it’s almost 2 dollars.” Well, 3 times 75 is 225 so that’s over two dollars. So I say, “so a debit card is less” and hand her my debit card. She says “yes”, takes the card and completes the transaction. The actual fee was only $70 but 3% of that is still more than 2 dollars.

She suggested I put the new sticker on my car within the next couple of days and I offered “you never asked me for proof of insurance” to which she quickly came back with “oh, that car is insured.” “You can tell that” I mused. She said “Yes, pretty good, huh?” “Very sophisticated” I replied, remembering the red sign with white letters that drove me to my car’s glove box just a few minutes before.

So we have relevant inner, unspoken thoughts, relevant outer spoken thoughts, and lots of irrelevant thoughts and side impulses buffeting us as we scan tone of voice, facial expression, body posture, physical attractiveness, interpersonal chemistry and how many people are on line behind me... Simple, right?